Dont Blame Me

I cant write. I cant even write about how I cant write. Just felt like putting old quotes up. Laugh please, its good for health.


*Waiter comes with hot towel and brandishes one*
Allay: Uhh nahi mera nahi hai
*Waiter offers one to Atta*
Allay: Nahi ye kisi ka bi nai hai!
*DIES OF LAUGHTER*

Me: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Spongebob squarepants!
Atta: lives where?
Me: under the sea. in a pineapple.
Atta: Oh. But isnt he a piece of cheese?
Me: *dies laughing* S-P-O-N-G-E-bob atta. SPONGE.

Allay: whyyyyyyyyy
I SAY WHYYYYYYYYY
DONT KNOW WHYYYYYYYY
WONT KNOW WHYYYYYY
OH YEAAAAAAAAAA
thats not even a song
Me: yeah but i wud totlly head bang to it.
Allay: haahahah :D:D
Me: sometimes i wish i were a boy, so that i could headbang and drive
out and buy juice and go chill with my bros. :l :l :l
Allay: ur so cool man oh look ive bergs are heren ow
:|
Me: what :l
Allay: ok what is going on
i think bboth of us need sleep
Me: :l
QUOTE?
Allay: DUH.

Hania:You're like facebook, I have to check you out every 5 seconds

Allay: What's wrong man u seem laaaast.
Me: Meh. I dont know. I dont know.
Allay: Its ok ok i was just teasing, daanthinkk
Me:*blabs shit*
Allay: choro choro
distract ali distract
PEEEEEEEEEEEE
Me: HAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAH PEE? aAHAHAHAHAHHAAH
APICAL AUXINS

*in library*
Me:*takes out mobile and starts texting*
Hania: Keep it back in! Do u want ur fone to be constipated?! --CONFISCATED i meant.

Me: OMG. a lizard jumped on me, i am so disgusted, DIEEEEEEEEE
Allay: Nice! So YOU r the second person i have to envy now. The first is abuji, it was in his banyan, he started dancing :D

Allay: TWO WISDOM TEETH? :l :l DUDE :l THAT EXPLAINS ALOT! :l :l

Bhaiya: Ali tum cheez ho yaar
Bhaijan: aur tum cheesy ho yaar

Allay: Oh i m at ur school it looks hot at night. :P
Me: outside* my school. :p
Allay: Bharamz :/

Allay: Hae when will i get a gadi, will i ever get one?

Allay: Assalamualaikum man just woke up dadajan here asked me to do 25 sit ups and 10 push ups :/

Allay: I phorofied dana bleeding now. BEELOOD :D

Abbu: *texts* Ajao khanay ka seen on hai.

Me: Dont step on wet cement.
Allay: Deep. :l
Me: No i mean literally, there's some outside infront of the gate. :D
Allay: AHAHAHAHAHA i though u were in one of those hot shit text moods :D

Me: Hey Free man. Morgan Freeman. :D


Allay: Dude! Hera pheri 2 is movie pe buni thi, like total rip off WHATTAY movie man it has jason statham.
Me: I didnt get a word.
Allay: Word. Here u go.
Me: Oh my Classy, How did U manage that? Lemme guess u googled a suitable comeback?
Allay: Im original, i swear :p

Allay: Why u no eat khana.
Me: Coz its stu, i hate stu.
Allay: U MEAN ISHTU I LIKE IT COZ ITS ISHTU AHAHAHAH FUNNY NAME

Allay: Bandar kya jane adrak ka sohag
me: Adrak ka maza*
Allay: Its sohag actually.
Me: No its maza and ur a jhaaroo.
Allay: U r jhaaroo ki teeli.
Me: U are taelu Snape.
Allay: U r jhaaroo ki teeli me phasi hui cockroach ki potty
Me: U r jhaaroo ki teeli me phasi hui potty me bacteria

Me: acha na i'll d0 it t0morr0w.
Allay: Ur KEWL wats with the zeros?
Me: Its easier to make them bhae.
Allay: Whattay KEWL.
Me: I FELL OFF THE STAIRS OKAY.
*later*
Bhaiya: HAHA bechaari u cant do anything innit?
Me: I FELL OFF THE STAIRS OKAY.
*throws paper ball in to dust bin* *Miss*
Atta: What an aim.
Me: I FELL OFF THE STAIRS OKAY.
Atta: WHEN WILL THIS EXCUSE REACH ITS EXPIRY DATE??
Me: When my bruise stops hurting.
Atta: Bruce Willis.

Allay: Holy HOLY shayt! :l twelve? SO that what the surd 12 dream was about!! :l :l

Allay: MMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN YOu
Me: what? ME?
Allay: ALL NEEd TOP CHECK
me: TOP WHAT TOP CHECK?
Allay: THIS OUT
WHO ELSE IS THERE WITH U?! GATHER EVERYONE
Me: WHAT??
Allay: GATHER EVERYONE!! AND WATCH THIS EPIC SHIT!
Me: What??
Allay: THIS IS THE BEST SHIT
Me: ABAY KYA
Allay:  IN THE HESSTOR OF SHIT
         LISTEN CLOSELY TO THE LYRICS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzB-GNYrxiE&feature=player_embedded
        Me: man abood showed this to us last to last week. watt. a. loser.


Atta: *texts* Waeva d circumstances wud b we'll stay united foreva. Hand in hand, love is sent, we'll be friends until the end. Happy Friendship day!
Me: *gags* ATTTTAAAAA D: D: D:
Atta: Muahahhahahahhahahahahahah i so wanted to see that :D

Allay:(texting) YAAAAAAY *slap*
Me: *PUNCH*
Allay: *groans* mai tou taali ki awaaz nikal raha tha!

Bhaiya: Kitabain.com Happy Birthday! You are welcome!

Me: I dont wanna go to the mehndi.. wierd yellow people singing 'dafli walaaay dafli baja"
Allay: What's a dafli? :l
Me: WO.. wo naaa! wo jo nahi bajate the?
Allay: nahi bajae the :l
Me: aray wo jo baje the!
Allay: :l :l :l

Allay: daal me kuch kaala hai
Me: MAKHII HAI MAKHHIII
Allay: URAA DOOO
Me: :l patang thori hai
Allay: BO KAAATAAAA
Me: :l
Atta*reads the convo*: Who dropped both of u in ur childhood?

Me: Me and Abood are staying at home
Allay: But Whaaaye?
Me: Manu come here
Allay: MANCHESTER UNITED COMING THERE? :l HOW? :l WHY?
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH i mean man, U come here!

Allay: Abay and Oay sound really nice on texts :D

Allay: Acha wo ye thaa?!
Me: Haan. Tou aur kya.
Allay: That sounded like 'main le ai sufi. Sufi pe aitemaad jo tha' :D.

Inception

I'm not kidding! Last night was the most exhausting sleep of my entire life.

My mom wakes me up shouting 'It's 6 'o' clock wake up, wake up!', so I have to put great effort in dragging myself up from the bed and looking under my pillow for my mobile. I hear the distant sound of raindrops pattering on the window and immediately hoist myself on my knees to get a look out the window. It's not raining. Puzzled I check my phone for messages and see the time. Its 3 A.M. I moan out loud in protest, and go after my mother who's run off to wake up my brother. I tell her it's 3 but she insists its 6. I check all the other clocks in the house, its still 3. I show my mom the clocks but she still nods her head defiantly. Then realization hits. Its a frigging dream. Whattay annoying dream. Ugh wake up!

if only.

I wake up and hear the sound of rain outside. I peek out, crossing my fingers just in case, BAM no rain. (BAM? why would it bam? I swear the voice in my head just keeps getting weirder) I sigh in designation and get out of my bed to go to my brother who's awake and using his laptop. I tell him about the weird dream I had and he smiles sarcastically at me and takes his time making fun of me. Then he turns his laptop towards me to show me a video. I realise its a dream again.

This time I dont wake up in my bed but inside the creepy video. Im in a dark, wide room with pulsating strobe lights shining everywhere. A guy wearing a white cap is advertising some football shoes. Obviously all I can think about is waking the hell up. So I keep shouting and mentally struggling to wake myself up. Hopefully this time will be the end of this extremely aggravating dream. I mean why couldnt I get just one night of peaceful sleep. Why do I have to wake up each day more tired than the night before? Arrgh, annoyance has reached the highest level there is.

Finally I wake up. and hear rain. I look out. WHAT THE HELL MAN. no rain again. So I get up and get ready for school. When I reach school our seniors from last year are there for some reason, and even more oddly just randomly sitting in the middle of corridors. Why is my life so eccentric man. Im a mild person. I just want a peaceful life. No? So we get shepherded into one of the school coasters and end up just circling the school a couple of times. Now this is just getting straight up absurd, right? So me and H jump out of the coaster and run to the school gate. When we get in, it does NOT look like our school. Dammit, another dream. Then out of nowhere this really weird menacing creature appears, that looks like a cross between a bird and a dog and crawls extremely quickly towards us, baring enormous fangs. I freeze on my spot and it stops and turns towards H. H does the same as I try to open the door in front of us. It comes at me again. I freeze. Im in a real crappy mood right now you know. How do i even wake up?! So i exchange looks with H and we both run for our life.

I wake up, chest heaving, eyes throbbing and a real kameena headache. I hear the sound of rain and dont even bother looking outside. No actually I did. It wasnt raining.

The day before that it rained the whole day. Such heavenliness. We got the last period free coz our awesome bio sir didnt show up and splashed in puddles and played games in the rain. Beyond epic. I had water in my socks too. Here's a video a teacher made. We were splashing around at the right where our buildings are.

Yesterday was my Birthday.It was just meh. but today I went to school and my friends surprised me with the BESTEST CARD OF ALL TIMES and gifts. I shall post a picture of the card later. Maybe I'll do a 'Becoming 17' post.

Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails he makes me wait
And I wait without you
With or Without you
With or Without you

Which is pathetic, I know

MY LAPTOP IS BACK.

 The series of emotions that followed:

 

And you will NOT believe what happened at school. (Im in A2 and still have to call it school. Which is  pathetic, i know). So this is my last year of A levels, next ofcourse is university, so everyone is kinda hyped about the coming year. My friends tend to get the weirdest ideas when in such excitement and I work to keep them restrained but this year things got pretty out of hand... They elected me for Head Girl. *drumroll*

It all came down to Shez who is in a different section, the evil mastermind targeted me when i was my most vulnerable. That's right, the evil deed was at night just after the electricity went while I was watching my favorite TV show. The end product: Im elected for Head Girl, and have to introduce myself in the assembly before the interview and election.

the hell?

 Thing is, I've been a prefect before, even a monitor, Hell I've also been the Secretary of the Association of all Clubs and Societies (whatever that was) but I've never been a Head Girl. To be extremely honest, I've dreamt about it my whole life. But I rejected the offer everytime. I guess most of you have heard or thought this: "It's best to not have expectations, so that even if everything goes wrong you dont end up being more disappointed than normal". Uhh, that is kind of what I live by. So obviously I havent really done alot of stuff in life that I really wanted to do. Which is pathetic, I know.



A simple guide to me.



Anyway I st-AAAAA WTF ANTS CRAWLING ON MEE AAAAAAA!!!!!

blekh. I hate ants. They're so vicious. Heh Im being pathetic again, i know. So I was saying.. Like anyother normal, hormonal, idiotically hopeful teenager out there (I TURN 17 IN 7 DAYS) I have started imagining how I'll give my speech. Let me give you a demo:

Good Morning and Asalamualaikum! My name is Abeer Jawed and I'm standing for the post of Head Girl. So the HeadMistress didnt really specify a topic for the speech so I wrote two just in case. I hope u dont mind hearing about how Arsenal is so doomed with Fabregas and Nasri gone or how the Amir Liaquat video is so not fake.

*mild laughter hopefully* *Headmistress tells me to get to the point since my time is running out*

Okay okay, But its still true. So yes I'll get to the point! To summarize, last year I stood exactly where all of you are standing and I knew what I and the people around me wanted from the year. So this year Im standing here to offer you a chance to have your voice heard, your opinion understood and your year be the  Awesomest year ever.

Im not here to tell you about my strengths (you already know im awesome *Sincker*). The only thing you need to know about me is that I dont get high on power, or become extremeley arrogant, I'll always be nice to you Head Girl or not. So in voting for me you wont only be gaining a considerate Head Girl but also a new friend! Cast your vote wisely, and may the best candidate win! 

 Sigh, Im completely pathetic, I KNOW.

What else? I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO WISH SHRIJA HAPPY BIRTHDAY UNTIL FURREE'S POST REMINDED ME. I am sorry. Please forgive me. and please accept this humble gift as both a sorry for being late and a very happy birthday present. I hope you like it.

Sometimes I really feel like Im an ungrateful bitch. All of you guys who read and comment or uhh read and never comment, I feel blessed by your presence. (Commenting would be great though). And Im pleased to know that my friends circle is widened by your presence. Since Im being senti and all, I'll dedicate this video to you guys. Indians make the best TV commercials EVER.

Dental Appointments from Hell

So today was my fifth dental appointment. On the first one the dentist declared that I needed a root canal cause i had a tiny little hole on my 7th upper tooth that had managed to hit the self destruct button. How he found that out is a painful story. He poked a nerve, (yeah now i get why there are so many sayings about touching nerves and stuff) and i am ashamed to say I winced like a little girly girl and yes even more ashamed to tell you i got teary. But I didnt moan okay. No moaning. or bawling.

Anyway. So yes the root canal! Apparently you have to cut the nerve under the tooth and then 'prepare the channel'. This consists of repeatedly putting ragged needles of different sizes in the hole and scraping them around and then injecting some sort of weird fluid in the the hole. Atleast that's what it feels like from my perspective. I mean seriously imagine having to look at the needle shining menacingly in the light right before it is stuck in your teeth.

And you know what, there's no chocolate or lolly or ice cream afterwards. All you have to look forward to is cramps in your back that you get from straining against the pain. The only thing that saves me from losing my temper and throwing away all the shiny vicious instruments on the tray (How dramatic would that be!) is ofcourse daydreaming about Tyler Hoechlin a.k.a Derek Hale. (I always get confused about daydreaming at night, what the hell do u call that?) Yep. I started watching that show. Very reluctantly i started, moaning internally at the obvious storyline but like every other thing, the more i watched it, I got completely hooked. (And believe me, u cant NOT get hooked once you see Derek Hale's badassery. You MUST youtube him, that's right, dont even bother Googling. Youtube. NOW.)





What are u waiting for?





NOW.

 On my third appointment, the anesthesia injection turned out to be too strong and I cam back with half my mouth frozen in a frown much to my brother's pleasure. He laughed his ass off when he took a look at me, which made me laugh, which made half of my mouth go up, which made him laugh even more, which made me try to fix my mouth with my hands, that ended in my brother howling endlessly while snapping the most embarassing pictures ever. And then he proceeded to send those to everyone. The next day he was quite disappointed that it had worn off.

On my fourth dental appointment I found out that the tubelight above my head was fixed upside down so I could read everything written on it mying down. Whoever did that, thankyou, it distracted me from the pain for 15 secs. Today was my fifth and second last visit. I was deep in the moment, thinking how exactly to free Derek from Kate's torture cell (It distracts me, do not JUDGE me) and the dentist POKED me out of my reverie. I would have sweared at him but I had all those needles in my mouth so it was best not to. And then he proceeded to put two cotton buds, 5 red colored sticks and one screwy needle in the tiny little hole in my teeth, FUN.

IMAGINE. THIS.

 So you get where Im coming from right? There you are sitting on a cold chair, under the cold air from the split, with the cold instruments in your teeth staring up at the blank wall, wincing occasionally with pain while the dentist asks you to spit at intervals. I tell you I would much rather have this:

Muahahahahah. I shall torture you with one more gif of my new obsession.



Hahahahha stiles!



At the end, you guys I still havent got my laptop back, i beg u to PLEASE pray that it gets fixed. SHRIJA im sorry for temporarily dying, I hope you like my gifs. I ll understand if u dont.



True Story.





Bloggers gonna blog

How do I start? Where do I begin? How do I explain myself?

Ok I can answer that last question.

See I had exams. And then my brother got married. (which was awesome Alhumdulilah!) Then there were the consistent outings after the wedding. Then I started this Content Writing thing to make money. Then my laptop stopped working and since then I have been ITCHING yes ITCHING (dont ask where) to blog (or as my mom calls it 'block') but have been unable to. The sad part is, it's still not here, it's in my brother's office who is at the moment honeymooning in Maldives. So yeah I dont think I'll be getting it back any time soon.

(BINDHI PYAAZ LOQI GAAJAR) (I swear in vegetable language to make my blog more appropriate)

I wanna go watch Harry Potter 7. No wait let me write the whole thing down.

To commemorate the end of my childhood, the end of a fricking world, I want to rewind life and play it from the day my brother handed me the small red copy of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone.

From that day to each and every book I made my reality, held on to during nerve-wracking plane journeys, kept as my security blanket when my life got thrown upside down a couple of times, picked up whenever I got a bit depressed and completely and totally immersed myself into his world. And then the movies. I caught Harry Potter 1 on TV today and started jumping up and down like an excited toddler. Then the light went.

Yeah. i know. suckfest. But then I got my dog-eared Harry Potter 3 down and then everything was okay.

So basically I wanna do a movie marathon, of the whole series and then go watch the last one. Hopefully this thursday, Insha'Allah.

That was emotional. In the state that im in right now, you would not like my reaction at all if you told me you hated Potter. My reply would be more bitchy than the normal equivalent of CRUCIO.

HAHAHAHA im using Potter references. This has to drive the haters crazy!

But all I can say is: 

AND

Muaahhahahahha I did it again.
So Im using my other brother's laptop since he's sleeping and everything. He just put his foot on my face. Im sure he woke up to do that. AGh. I also have to write a 450 word essay on 'Business Decisions'. God know how im gonna do that, being pre-med n all but i think i ve written essays on worse topics.

But lets not dwell on UGH stuff. for my fellow potterheads:  

For the rest of you, here's a friends thing I can never forget.

Pheobe and Joey. EPIC.

My abba just came and waved at me. and then went back. Its four O clock in the morning.

I have a cool father. lml

Another huge thing that I rudely skipped over.. My blog is 1 year and about 2 weeks old. Yes i know. I am ashamed to be this late. Also i have sorely missed reading all of your blogs and commenting and reading your comments on my blog. I will stay up tomorrow night and do that too!

On an ending note, I know im not very big on Urdu poetry since I usually dont get it, but today my brother showed me a video of some poems from an indian movie "Zindagi na milegi dobara", here's the link to watch all the poetry scenes :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3UvuleS7iw&feature=player_embedded

and one of the poems:

Pighle neelam sa behta ye sama, neeli neeli si khamoshiyan,
na kahin hai zameen na kahin aasmaan, sarsaraati hui tehniyaan pattiyaan,
keh raheen hai bas ek tum ho yahan,bas main hoon,
meri saansein hain aur meri dharkanein, aisi gehraiyaan, aisi tanhaiyaan,
aur main… sirf main.
Apne hone par mujhko yakeen aa gaya.
This is just Wah yaar. Waaah.
Acha bohat hogaya, Allah Hafiz.

Life with a Medical Student Room mate.

Sheesh. I blame my absence on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.I know its pretty old now. But I have a gap of a week between my exams so I started watching. Currently Im going at a rate of three episodes per day- sorry Night. I study too ok. Also I am obsessed with Cyanide and Happiness. Go on click it, you wont regret it.

My cousin is off partying, she had her last exam today. From Monday she has to go again. You guessed right, she's in MED SCHOOL *dhan dhan dhaaan* Also she's my room mate. Which means, I LIVE WITH A FREAK OF NATURE. (Needless to say I'll become one too in an year, props to Mom for the wishes)

Where do I start? Hmm.. How about I have an actual skull in my room. Of an actual person. A real person. A dead real person. (pun Intended). That's right, in two pieces. And it's been there since forever now.Before it used to be a sort of decoration piece. Here's a picture of it with my 16th birthday cake.

i know right. DELICIOUS CAKE.

Now though, its been denoted. Its more of a lost n found box now. I swear that's where I found my keys last week.

So that's where my necklace went.

 This is nothing really. She used to sleep with the humerus bone by her side. (snicker) Talking about humor, she has none. No actually she has a very *medical* sense of humor. Its annoying. No seriously. If i didnt delete all of the forwarded messages of Medical jokes as soon as i got them, I would write one here. But no, You are safe. Also, you are welcome.

And that isnt the only mental torture I have to go through. True to her doctor self, my cousin has unreadable handwriting. So I ended up making her Forensic and Jurisprudence journal in her third year. And let me tell you, it was NOT pretty. Scary Bloody pictures of people with huge stabs and wounds and acid thrown all over them with their whole faces poofed up and grisly. A new vitriolage victim to star in my dream each night. The other day I was doing her jurisprudence work and so now I know how to identify bodies that have been blasted into smithereens and do not have even a finger left.

The only plus point I found in doing her work was Toxicology. I know now that Croton Oil is the best homicidal poison. Its odourless, tasteless and a small amount would do the job in like 3 hours. (Don't test me i did this work in Feb). So you really dont wanna aggravate me, I can easily slip some in your apple juice.
On the other hand, the love of my life has been exposed to be lethal. That's right copper sulphate can kill you. I took this picture, along with countless others in my Chem Lab. All those times.. *sob*

How could u!?

 It doesn't help that whenever I zone out and come back or enter the room, she's always uttering words like 'bloody diarrhea' or the cranial nerve mnemonic. (Okay no, she doesn't chant that but she told me about it, WHOEVER MADE THAT WAS A HUGE PERV)

Being a room mate entails some responsibility to clean up and not finish all the water in the bottle. Being a medical student's room mate, specially one who's a neat freak and goes all Brain eating zombie if i finish the water, Boy do i have a huge list of responsibilities. Top of the list: Be her subject.

She has scratched me, to show me what exactly an abrasion is. She has poked my arms and legs in revising her knowledge of the bones and muscles. She has taken hold of my ear and pulled it around, even put a finger inside. She has pulled my nose up and examined it to her heart's desire. She has made me put my tongue out with my mouth open wide and pinched me so that i screamed 'AAAA'. She has prodded my neck, which was quite ticklish, asked if it hurt and at the end exclaimed 'Haan, shayad yehi kerna hota hai'. (Third year, ENT ward) She has also checked my bowel sounds with her stethoscope.

Pink i know. It even has her name on it. SHOWOFF.

 Which brings us to number two on the list. (on the list.): Bearing with her freakiness. If she's not buried in some huge book written by Shruti, PL and Deeksha Dhingra (Im not kidding I swear those are real authors) then she's probably curled up with her steth like a little obsessive weirdo listening to her own bowel sounds. Once she had diarrhea and was fascinated by the sounds coming out of her stomach. She was quite sad when I didn't hear them. Naturally, she also listens to her heart beat, which makes her delusional coz now she experiences palpitations all the time. Also we have books everywhere.

yes there is a book on top of them too.

Books in the closet, how normal

Leading to the third: Dealing with the 'Medical Student Syndrome'. In this syndrome, each and every disease the patient comes across, he believes that he has them. I quote my cousin. Last week she suspected that she had aduction hyperflex. On Sunday it was insomnia. Monday she had narcolepsy. Tuesday she felt palipitations. Wednesday she felt .tachycardia. Last night it was left sided myalgea. So my job is to convince her that she has none of this. Im proud to say that I have really good powers of convincing. Oh yeah.

 Fourth is not minding disturbance of sleep. Usually she wakes up at three in the night and studies. So at these occasions I have several times been awaken to a creepy sensation of being stared at. When I questioned her sanity she told me I have a hot clavicle. On other occasions she needs to perform some sort of examination on me. Once it was a pupil dilation test. Another time it was a respiratory check up so I had to repeatedly say 'TEEN, TEEN, TEEN' as she moved the stethoscope over my back. I swear Im really glad no one comes to check up on us in our room. Else they'd be really disturbed. I've also been told the correct method of gastric lavage in my sleep. and now I really wanna study like this coz i remember it word to word. So if anyone gets poisoned. Come to me. Seriously.

The Fifth one is having her kill all my jokes. For a Med Student she is extremely brilliant (Masha'Allah) with the crazy nerd-freak drive to get a position each year. But when it comes to jokes. She's a frigging blondie. You wanna curl up and die in the time that goes by after the punchline and before her laugh. Also she sometimes tries to be scientific about stuff. For example:

SO FLLUUFFAAAY

She saw this. Loved it. And uses this lines with variations everyday like 'it's so funny/yummy' etcetera etcetera. But once, when she was in this really bad mood. She said, "I don't think you die if u find something fluffy" How could u atta, How could you?

The advantage of living with a med student? I can swear at people without them knowing. Seriously. I can go up to a person and tell them they had a HUGE gluteus maximus but they wouldnt know what im talking about. Oh and lets not even go there. That whole region. yeah if u piss me off, I'll describe you using all the names of the stuff found in that region. In scientific terms. Hah.

Also you can show off the fact that you know what the anatomical snuffbox is and that the bizelic vein goes through it or something. Pretty neat, no? Lemme be an optimist while it lasts.

DIE CIE DIE

Dudes. Exams. Terrified. Nerds. Study. Past papers. HUNGRY. Read. Solve. EAT. sleep. DAYDREAM. STUDY. 

yes. this has been my thought process for the past month. (except for the dudes part i was just addressing u guys Muahahah). Im giving my AS level CIE examinations and man has it been hell. I just had three consistent papers, a Chem practical, a Bio practical and a Psych paper and now thankfully i have a gap of 3 days before the next 3 consistent papers. I know. Im screwed. Here's how it usually goes.

I spend the whole day before an exam studying my ass off like a robotic maniac, not caring about anything other than the stupid book in front of me. If anyone dares to make conversation with me this is the look that they get:

questioning your sanity.

  At about 1 in the night I decide that there is nothing more I can do and surrender myself to the comfortable depths of my bed. A wink and a very disturbing dream later you find yourself waking up to the annoying voice singing "Here we goooo. Come with meeeeee. There's a world out there that we should seeeee" Yeah i actually used to like that song. now. I HATE IT.

So I get up, its 5 30, i pray, take a shower and go back to sleep for half an hour, getting up again to the stupid person trying to make a rocket out of scrap to go visit his girl friend in a  different country (HAH as if that's ever happening) (dude, FUEL?) (I have been studying physics ok, u'd better not doubt my knowledge). I change into my uniform, check all my stuff a bazillion times, gulp down some milk and try to ignore the queasy feeling in my stomach. Then i leave for the centre (or my school in case of a practical).

Now you know how something or the other has to go wrong? yeah. the first day my abbu got into a fight with the person conducting the traffic near my school so i get out of the car all shaken up and my mind isnt processing anything. the second day, its a theory paper so we have to go somewhere else and we totally lose our way. And i have one word to describe how i felt. PUKEY.

die die die

 I really need a knowledge harnessing helmet. It's like when I set my eyes on the building of the centre, my brain lets out a screech and a whimper, and pees in its pants. Only the pee is knowledge. and the pants are anywhere but in my mind. Right? right? Also I need to wear this shirt.

i just might

Practical papers are CPT. Constant Performance Tasks. Two hours of bloody test tubes, bunsen burners, chemicals, microscopes and the mocking blank paper right in front of you. I mean just imagine. A.C.s off (cause of enthalpy experiments), windows closed (breeze would disturb the burners) and bunsen burners on in front of your face. or what's left of your face. Coz most of it has melted. Finally after two hours of hopping around like a maniac, balancing multiple apparatus in your hands and trying to keep your scribbling match the language required, the examiners who have been walking around smugly with bemused smirks on their faces, order u to stop writing. Tired, defeated and totally exhausted, you rest your sweaty, bloody (drama), weak ass on the stool.

Now usually there's a domestic staff lady going around with water and cups. I jump at her and stare hypnotised at the water pouring into my paper cup. I kid you not i took 3 glasses and at the end i smiled apologetically at her but she stumbled a step away from me. So i must have been looking scary. Meh.

oh jeez. the mirror does not look good today.

 After that the wait begins. Now these stools that we're sitting on, they're backless. So yeah obviously I almost fell off a couple of times due to my severe need for back rest. I look around and everyone's passing these looks to each other, raising their eyebrows to ask how the paper went. They'd get a shrug or a sad whimper in reply. So I looked at H who was sitting beside me and i raised my eyebrows at her. Then i winked at her. Then i gave her a flirty smile. Then the examiner came and I had to avert my face as me and H did the silent monkey choking laughing routine. But then the examiner moved away and H asked me how my paper was. I gave her the following looks in succession. And yes i know im awesome for giving so many awesome looks. *bows*

seriously wtf was that?

I DID STUDY FOR THIS RIGHT?

SO SCREWED

Then thankfully they let us go and I can stop being awesome (though its effortless, so meh). I make my way out of the lab taking in a deep breath after the noxious fumes of the numerous gases in the lab (blame it on the chemical/ blame it on indigestion) and as soon as we reach the class where we have to wait till the Group B goes into the labs (GOD FORBID we jump out an shout practical readings at them) the nerds start discussing the paper. and yes. THE LOOKS ARE REQUIRED:

SHUT THE EFF UP U *TOONT*

yeah you itch.

 Nerds. UGH. They remind me I have to study. and i just wasted a WHOLE load of time. But I had to. Also this is my 50TH post. *Fireworks* And Atta. I'm sorry. I know i promised to post the "Life with a medical student roommate" article but I just had to get this out man. And also u just keep on providing me with matter ya know. I just heard you utter the words "Bloody mucous filled diarrhea". I love the pictures that you paint in my mind everyday. Thankyou.

I HAVE FRIENDS OKAY.

So yesterday while talking about my 'mean' and 'trying to be deep' blog, my brother asked me if i even had friends at school. I surreptitiously rolled down the top of my ankle socks that had 'FRIENDS' written on them in bold letters and gave him a look that doubted his sanity. And of course yes i tried to convince him that i have loads, but look he's a born lawyer, always wanted to become one but instead did something in Biomedical sciences. So all of what i like to call his 'Lawyer Energy' is spent on taunting and teasing me into submission about one thing or the other. Seriously. I dont even bother arguing anymore. Its like this:
Bhaiya *breaks glass*
*Ammi comes walking in*
Bhaiya: ABEER NE TOURA HAI
Abeer: JEEE NA--- *leaves to get jhaaroo*
Now he's gonna say this never happened and use big words and the insistent, annoying "INNIT" to make me beg for forgiveness at his feet.

So anyway. Today I went to school and my older brother came to pick me up. Coincidentally a couple of my friends had transport problems and so I had to drop Amy, M and Nemo home. I thanked the good lord that Bhaiya went to Office cause the first thing he would is ask them how much i paid them to come as my 'friends'. I respect his ability to always rise up to each occasion to tease me. Below is a card I made for him on his birthday and well yes this pretty much how he looks.

He likes quizzing my knowledge about jute and marxism. True Story.

Speaking of which, today I got my Mock report card. (No, Bhaiya I'm not showing it to you). Written in the comments section by Miss Hilla (the Trunchbull woman, yes) was this UGLY piece of shit: "Abeer is a very intelligent boy with great potential. He needs to work hard and concentrate on his studies to attain good grades in the CIE" I think the circumstances allow me to say this. WHAT THE EFF ?! I admit my shoes are quite hardcore but that just means I have tomboy preferences. I guess I must crack another joke on myself though. Last year there was a student who had the same name as me, yes same Full name and guess what? He was a HE. I dunno what's wrong with the world though. I checked this Arabic name dictionary and found Abeer on the female side Only. And it means 'a musky perfume' and is related to an incident about a mosque visited by the Holy Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him). The point is everyone has seen the NIKE deo, Urban Musk. Its for GIRLS.

WOMAN. SEE?

  So I gave it to the Head Mistress to change it, who barely suppressing a smile sent me to Miss Hilla. As I entered the door she shrieked in her scary voice "What do you want?!" I put my report in front of her and said, 'Miss there's a little issue here. I'm a girl." I have the HONOR of seeing Miss Hilla look mortified. Yes. Thank you thank you, that's quite enough autographs now, im tired. Leaving her to it I went off to the library with my friend, H to enjoy the cool blast of the A.C. and study. a little. My other friends Meesh and Ash were already there. As we walked in and took our places beneath the nearest A.C. Meesh inquired, "Did you get it removed?" I shook my head and grimaced as Ash exclaimed, "So you're still a boy?". I meekly replied, "Yup, there were too many people there." Realising what had just happened i turned around knowing that H would be choking up on laughter. One look at her and we all started laughing our asses off. I love my epic group of friends. We were missing S, coz she went early. Im sure she would have something funnier to add to the conversation.

As I solved my chem past papers, H kept talking about red sting. (Which i have to say is really delicious). So I told her to shut up and study for a change. H replied sweetly, "You're like facebook, I have to check you out every 5 seconds." After exchanging some Barney Stinson style Hi-fives, she plugged on her earphones and started to study. Or pretend to anyway. A moment later I received a text and took out my cell to check it only to be glared at by H as she exclaimed, "Keep your mobile inside, do u want it to be Constipated?" After that we were kicked out of the library. Not really no, me and H have learnt to control the volume of our laughter so much so that the only hint one has is the faint sounds of a monkey getting choked in the back row during Physics period.

So anyway, Amy just came over. I was waiting for her at the gate when i spotted a thing that looked like a ball between two branches of a little plant from faraway. It was an eggplant! I took a picture:

I'

 

BENGANNN

I'll do a post next on my many obsessions displayed through the photos in my mobile. Till then you check out this awesome shit, Literal Awesome shit: The Toilet Seat (Its a blog, dont be scared.)

Pictorial Post # 01

Due to unwanted traffic and the ominous cloud that hovers over a person before exams, im gonna postpone the 'Living with a Med Student' article and just post up some really awesome stuff i found on this tumblr blog: Laugh at Adversity, Become Invincible.

Buahahaha How Macho.

Loveee it!

not a fan of piercing, but this? ANYDAY.

PERFECT.

fav moment # 29 from Princess Diaries

FOURTEEN YEARS

Ariel as Christina Aguilera, Jasmine as Rihanna, Snow White as Katy Perry, Cinderella as Lady Gaga, Belle as Madonna, Tiana as Beyonce and Aurora as Britney. 

^^

seriously.

Beauty

WOW photography.

she's soooo cute im gonna dieee!