Dont ask.

If there's one thing i really really really hate its being blamed for something that i havent done. Yes i might be sounding like a huge crybaby (might? more like must) but I have to admit its one of the things that still makes me cry. Seriously. I mean its hard enough to accept it when u have done something wrong but when I havent, i just so frikking enfuriated... God i feel like Ramona! but no I dont think i can play that card either, im 16 not 6.. Dont u hate it when some little thing like this makes u sad, automatically all the other things that make u sad but u hold them off and stay okay, come back and attack u.. so that it looks like ur being a major crybaby over a teensy little thing.. or maybe i am a crybaby =D i think its easier to just admit that and be at peace with it. I watched Dear John today. its just so lameass how i can never form an opinion about anything. My brother is very right in wondering mera hoga kya =D My G.P teacher already thinks im suicidal! it cant get any better than this right? right?

Still Obsessing XD

15 Ways to Infuriate, Exasperate, or Generally Get On Hermione Granger's Bad Side

Guaranteed to get a vicious flock of Canaries sent your way...

By Naomi

---

1. Tell her Ron proposed to Lavender in Madam Puddifoot's.

2. Tell her McGonagall said that her overall OWL results would have been a T, but they decided that would have been an insult to trolls.

3. Frequently inquire as to why she is wasting time knitting all those woolly bladders and leaving them lying around the common room.

4. When you ask why she's angry with Pansy Parkinson, and she tells you it's because Pansy just compared her to a chipmunk, act confused and say:"But why are you so upset? I thought you valued honesty in others?"

5. Whenever something in Hogwarts isn't working properly, say loudly:'I reckon it's those stupid house elves' fault. Dumbledore's much too soft with them...'

6. Say to her: "You remind me of a movie star." When she beams at you, say: "Yes, it's incredibly hard to find somebody who looks like Bugs Bunny, but with those front teeth of yours you're the spitting image of him."

7. Inform her you've just read Rita Skeeter's article about her and Harry and Krum. Tell her she's not worthy of either boy and that 'Harry Potter has had to endure enough tragedy without having a scarlet woman rip his heart out.'

8. Tell her that when Harry and Ron ran into the bathroom to rescue her from the mountain troll, they had to pause for a moment to figure out which one was the troll and which one was Hermione.

9. Constantly try to solve the mysteries of Hogwarts by saying: 'It's obvious, isn't it? As soon as he heard Dumbledore coming towards him, he must have disapparated out of Hogwarts!'

10. In lessons, always answer questions by heavily misquoting Hermione's favourite textbooks, using her exact know-it-all tone of voice. When the teacher tells you that you're incorrect, state that it's not your fault because you were only saying what Hermione said.

11. Take a leaf out of Ron's book and imitate her bouncing up and down in her chair trying to answer a question.

12. After Slughorn's Christmas party, say to her,'Hermione, Cormac's been looking all over for you'-every day for three weeks.

13. After Gryffindor Quidditch try outs in sixth year, follow her around saying loudly, 'Hey prefect! Confunded anyone lately?

14. Quote Malfoy. 'Who blacked your eye, Granger? I want to send them flowers.'

15. When given a mountain of homework, sigh and say in a squeaky house-elf sounding voice:'No sick days. No payment. No job satisfaction. So much work we has, miss!'

Potter Obsessions

Found some awesome shit on mugglenet.com

10 Ways to Aggravate Albus Dumbledore

Guaranteed to get you a few extra trips to the headmaster's office

by Rose

---

1. Run, panting into his office and say, "Professor, Professor! Voldemort has invaded Hogwarts!" Then lead him all around the school for the rest of the day and night, muttering, "I thought I saw him in this corridor."

2. Follow him around all day, screaming, "IT WAS SNAPE'S FAULT! IT WAS SNAPE'S FAULT!"

3. When you are called into his office to be lectured for poor behavior sit there and click a pen the entire time. When he pauses, say, "Ooo, clicky! Too bad they don't make quills like this. I'm sorry, Albus, what were you saying?"

4. Mention the "incompetence of Mudbloods," at every opportunity.

5. When he is making his speech at the first speech in the great Hall, whistle, clap your hands, and say "Yeah, Dumble, you got dis, you got dis!" continuously throughout the entire thing.

6. Hold a contest among your fellow students of, "Who Can Say Dumbledore's Full Name the Fastest?"

7. Inform him that Ron accidentally infected his lemon drops with the Spattergroit (make sure that you do this while he's eating one.)

8. Invite the giant squid to the Yule Ball and thell Dumbledore that you absolutely insist that he be allowed to attend.

9. Whenever Harry is summoned to his ofice for one of their private chats, be sure to mutter about "favoritism."

10. Invite Voldemort and all of the Death Eaters to the Great Hall for tea.

SARCASM MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND.

Seriously. I can’t imagine what we would do without sarcasm...

How would one enjoy?

How would one pass time?

How would one get any feeling of gleeful satisfaction at all?

Sarcasm is a gift.

It flows in our blood and makes us who we are.

Don’t you just love being around a clueless person, feeding them ounce upon ounce of the cattiest sarcasm while they try to imagine the vastness of your sweet nature?

"Hey Mona, I really love your eye makeup, makes you look like the heroin of that movie... what was it called?" (PAKISTANI MOVIE: NAAGAN) (which means snake in urdu, burgers)

'Aww, that’s the sweetest compliment anyone has ever given to me!'

See? Bliss. Pure unadulterated bliss. Better than Nutella I could say..

And it's not like I’m the only person here who takes pleasure in messing with people's minds.

I have seen plenty of teachers use it and I have to say some of them are true idols for me.

Student: “Teacher, can I—“

Teacher: “Go to the washroom, then have some water, then go to the washroom again, then to the office for some important paperwork and then to the ground to get some air for your poor suffocated lungs?”

Student: “Uh, never mind...”

And it’s not like our dear mothers can hold back any, either.

Just yesterday my brother asked if he could go out with his friends.

My mother, tired and worn-out as she was, fired away impressively with the classic impression of Snow White going all, 'Oh suuure. Why not?'

And then 'Why don’t u spend the night there... or maybe you should move! I’m sure they'll be very happy to keep you. After all you were picked up from the same garbage bin'

And then the final touch... a deep, dark, sinister SMILE.

I mean it isn’t as terrorising as being forced to hear a Justin Bieber song, but hey it’s pretty scary alright!

My brother's friends are going to be mourning his absence till the next month while my brother ponders if he really was adopted/ picked up from a garbage bin.

Now what other thing could provide such freetainment?

Yes, the Urban Dictionary is quite impressive in all its abusive glory but hey sarcasm has an originality that no website can ever achieve...

So HALLELUJAH! Without sarcasm our lives would be very dull. Very dull indeed!

How Well Read Are You?

How Well Read Are You?

I got this from ChickLitGirl

"The BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books listed here."

Instructions:

•Copy this list.
•Bold those books you’ve read in their entirety.
•Italicise the ones you started but didn’t finish or read only an excerpt.
•Tag other book nerds.

Here goes!

Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen
The Lord of the Rings – JRR Tolkien
Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte
Harry Potter series – JK Rowling
To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee
The King James Bible
Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte
Nineteen Eighty Four (1984) – George Orwell
His Dark Materials – Philip Pullman
Great Expectations – Charles Dickens
Little Women – Louisa M Alcott
Tess of the D’Urbervilles – Thomas Hardy
Catch 22 – Joseph Heller
Complete Works of Shakespeare
Rebecca – Daphne Du Maurier
The Hobbit – JRR Tolkien
Birdsong – Sebastian Faulk
Catcher in the Rye – JD Salinger
The Time Traveler’s Wife – Audrey Niffenegger
Middlemarch – George Eliot
Gone With The Wind – Margaret Mitchell
The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald
War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams
Brideshead Revisited – Evelyn Waugh
Crime and Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck
Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll
The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame
Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy
David Copperfield – Charles Dickens
Chronicles of Narnia – CS Lewis 
Emma -Jane AustenPersuasion – Jane Austen
The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe – CS Lewis
The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini
Captain Corelli’s Mandolin – Louis De Bernieres
Memoirs of a Geisha – Arthur Golden
Winnie the Pooh – A.A. Milne
Animal Farm – George Orwell
The DaVinci Code – Dan Brown
One Hundred Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
A Prayer for Owen Meaney – John Irving
The Woman in White – Wilkie Collins
Anne of Green Gables – LM Montgomery
Far From The Madding Crowd – Thomas Hardy
The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood
Lord of the Flies – William Golding
Atonement – Ian McEwan
Life of Pi – Yann Martel (I have this, I need to read it soon!)
Dune – Frank Herbert
Cold Comfort Farm – Stella Gibbons
Sense and Sensibility – Jane AustenA Suitable Boy – Vikram Seth
The Shadow of the Wind – Carlos Ruiz Zafon
A Tale Of Two Cities – Charles Dickens
Brave New World – Aldous Huxley
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time – Mark Haddon
Love In The Time Of Cholera – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck
Lolita – Vladimir Nabokov
The Secret History – Donna Tartt
The Lovely Bones – Alice Sebold 
Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas
On The Road – Jack Kerouac
Jude the Obscure – Thomas Hardy
Bridget Jones’s Diary – Helen Fielding
Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie
Moby Dick – Herman MelvilleOliver Twist – Charles Dickens
Dracula – Bram Stoker
The Secret Garden – Frances Hodgson Burnett
Notes From A Small Island – Bill Bryson
Ulysses – James Joyce
The Inferno – Dante
Swallows and Amazons – Arthur Ransome
Germinal – Emile Zola
Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray
Possession – AS Byatt
Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens
Cloud Atlas – David Mitchell
The Color Purple – Alice Walker
The Remains of the Day – Kazuo Ishiguro
Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert
A Fine Balance – Rohinton Mistry
Charlotte’s Web – E.B. White
The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom
Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
The Faraway Tree Collection – Enid Blyton
Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad
The Little Prince – Antoine De Saint-Exupery
The Wasp Factory – Iain Banks
Watership Down – Richard Adams
A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole
A Town Like Alice – Nevil Shute
The Three Musketeers – Alexandre Dumas
Hamlet – William Shakespeare
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Roald Dahl
Les Miserables – Victor Hugo

26 books! What about you?

HUMOR PURPOSES ONLY YO

this is an article I only JUST wrote for my school mag.. i hope the editor publishes it cuz i swear i spent two days  walking around in a daze. IT HAD BETTER BE WORTH IT!

Today, rather tonight, 2:59 AM, high on Panadol CF, exactly two days before my first exam, I have settled to blab a bit about mental disorders prevalent in most high schools nowadays. Everyone has, at one point in their life, diagnosed or has been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Be it about a sparkly vampire-fairy (sorry fans, Edward Cullen just killed the concept of vampires) or die-hard fandom of Arsenal/ Manchester United/ Real Madrid/ F.C. Barca,   it’s a mental disorder alright! Also frequent due to constant parental/elder sibling orders to either eat less ('OY GUMDROP! are those your arms or are they balloons?' or the ever subtle 'Your stomach is the best pillow around') or to eat more (followed by an hour long renting session of motherly woes and how you have wasted their efforts and become weight conscious with you almost wetting your pants to prevent yourself from screaming, “OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I am not dieting! I just want you to get the hint that I want to eat Bovi Chic” because u really don’t want the 2 hour lecture on healthy food that comes after) is the prevailing trend of apathy. Patients when asked about anything from 'Hey, how was your day?' to even 'OMG u watched Saw 7, HOW WAS IT?' always give a monosyllabic reply most common of which is ‘meh’. Oh interesting fact, there's an actor whose name is actually Alex Bleh! How awesome is that? Which brings us to ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). The main symptoms of this disorder are a lack of attention and too much activity or excessive daydreaming. Sound relatable? I thought so too. There’s no point denying that all of us have the Bipolar disorder too. One moment you’re soaring the skies like you’re on a psychedelic drug and the other you’re so surly you could bite someone’s head off. Now if you really can confidently say that you don’t have any of this, I salute you. You will develop all of this in University any way. Hah! Loser.

(This is all for humour purposes only. I do not mean to make fun of people who actually have this stuff, cause that’s really serious, I swear.)

 probably shouldnt have used so many brackets. meh.

-

Longing for that moment of clarity. Rewind and Stop. Please? Pretty please?

Band Aid anyone?

People say so easily, 'time heals all wounds'. I have been led to believe that this statement does not hold reason. As time passes by, you just have to deal with everything and so you put a bandage over your wound, hide it from the rest of the world but still nurse it in secrecy. Just because it's covered, doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. If anything, time just welcomes guilt to the ride. Guilt for covering the wound up. Guilt for hiding it from your own self, like pretending it doesn't exist will make it go away. Irrationality. It just got overrated.

Numb

my lips are dry. the air seems stiff. my toes feel pinched. So it is true... winter's here. the time of the year when you begin to doubt if the coldness inside, is because of the weather... when you unconsciously withdraw into yourself, only to jump away, raw.. having found a part of you that you had hidden away beneath everything... Funny how 8 year olds can make you so emotionally vulnerable, you feel like you gave your coat to them to protect them from the cold wind, only to have them push you into a ravine of icy cold numbing water. which pretty much leaves you feeling empty. like you cant feel anything... I'd like that... to be Numb. Comfortably numb? 

Living the Limbo

I have been standing on the stairs for a while now. Have you noticed how the stairs are like a limbo? An intermediate place, a state of uncertainty... You're oblivious to the stairway as an actual place. Do you sit on the stairs and talk? Do you grab a book and some juice and find yourself a nice step? You're in between two destinations, only when you decide you wanna go up or down, do u actually go. And thats all u do while on the stairs. Decisions, decisions... If you cant decide, are you stuck in limbo? Are you stuck in between?

Sometimes, Limbo is your destination. Sometimes, you dont want to go up or down. Sometimes, you just wanna be away from the up and down. Sometimes, you just dont wanna choose. Live the limbo. You might just like it.

Insomnia

I'm surrounded by darkness. From down here, it looks like nothing exists. Frantic blinking wont do any good nor will searching for a light. The best way out; close your eyes. The darkness that surrounded you is now just your eyelid shielding you from all the light. Isn't it eerie how the same mirror shows every single person so many different things? Isn't it eerie how without light you don't have reflection? As your light dimunates so does your reflection, you personality. And then you're immersed in the darkness again.

Come to think of it, sleep is an eerie thing too. Isn't it weird how man, the most aggressive and defensive creature, lays all his guards down and finds rest in defenseless slumber? Your consciousness wavers and gradually floats away leaving you both physically and mentally vulnerable. Open to attack, not only from the world but your own self. That great wave of unconsciousness that smothers you in sleep, showing you dreams and nightmares and knowledge and reason, knowing all your secrets, making you emotionally fragile, taking away all its presence from your grasping hands when you wake up. You want to hold on, but your struggle is like  trying to hold back water from rejoining the sea.

Conflict

I cant write. I cant concentrate. I cant think. I cant cry. I cant want. I cant hope. I cant express. I cant let it go. I cant get over it. I cant forget about it. I cant stop. I cant let go. I cant hear myself think. I cant see clearly. I cant decipher the signs. I cant feel. People say u can feel it. I cant. What is it then? Isolation? Bottling up? Negative Reinforcement? Interruptions? Expectations? 

This isnt a sad post. Im happy. Life isnt tragic. Life is good. Things happen. For a reason. A good one. Everytime. You get through it. I get through it. Im not sad. Im not lost. Im not dramatic. Or yes maybe I am. Im just confused. It happens. I guess.

Change

When people say things like 'people don't change', it drives scientists crazy. Because change is literally the only constant in all of science. Energy, matter, its always changing... morphing...  merging...  growing..  dying... its the way people try Not to change, thats unnatural.. the way we cling to what things were instead of letting them be what they are... the way we cling to old memories instead of forming new ones... the way we insist on believing, despite every scientific indication that anything in this lifetime is permanent... Change is constant. How we experience change, that's up to us. It can feel like death, or it can feel like a second chance at life. If we open our fingers... loosen our grips... go with it... it can feel like pure adrenaline. Like at any moment we can have another chance at life... like at any moment we can be born all over again. - Meredith Grey

Light

I found something in a facebook group that really lifted me up.. here it is:


"You can shed tears that he is gone,
or you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all he's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him, only that he is gone,
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what he'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on."

Out of Focus

The dew drop on the leaf, glistening in its kaleidoscope glory suddenly fades into the background. The intricate veins on the lamina are no longer bold tunnels, standing out in the green-ness. Can you focus in thin air? That's what it feels like...

In my head

Happy that they're safe from all this

Content that they're happier than they could ever be

Hopeful that I might get to be with them again

Scared that I might not get to be with them again

Pained cos it hurts to imagine the world without them

Lost when I cant feel them or see them or hear them

Torn with the desire to meet them and the inability to

Wrecked cos I need to cry, but they dont want me to

Sad cos i miss them, cos I'm only human...

Ashamed

By now most of you must have heard the story of the two brothers brutally beaten to death and hanged in Sialkot for no reason. I can only imagine the kind of pain the family of the poor brothers must be going through. I was kept awake all night, i cant even bare to think of the pain felt by their mother. Such brutality, such savagery its unforgivable. I cant imagine how anyone could just watch and not stop it before their eyes. Personally I would like to see all of the criminals tied to carts, dragged on stones, burnt in fire and worse. Even if they dont ge the punishment they deserve in this world, INSHALLAH they will get their due in the Hereafter. Right now, i feel ashamed to be a Pakistani, ashamed to be a human. Our pure and wondrous country Pakistan, run over by a race of crude savages. A shame it is indeed.

Please sign the petitions below. We should do whatever little we can to help this cause.

http://www.petitionvoice.com/justice-for-mughees-and-muneeb-and-petition.html

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/justiceformugheesandmuneeb/

Brood

 Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?
It would be so fine to see your face at my door
Doesn't help to know that you're just time away
Long ago I reached for you, and there you stood
Holding you again could only do me good
How I wish I could, but you're so far away

One more song about moving along the highway
Can't say much of anything that's new
If I could only work this life out my way
I'd rather spend it being close to you
But you're so far away
Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?
It would be so fine to see your face at my door
Doesn't help to know you're so far away
Yeah, you're so far away

Traveling around sure gets me down and lonely
Nothing else to do but close my mind
I sure hope the road don't come to own me
There are so many dreams I have yet to find
But you're so far away
Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?
It would be so fine to see your face at my door
And it doesn't help to know you're so far away
You're so far away 
Yeah, you're so far away 
You're so far away 





A masterpiece by Carole King. However good songs the musicians today may write they can never achieve the depth and intensity, the heart felt out pour in such simple yet effectual language  of the old songs especially songs of the late 60s early 70s.


 I see the glistening pavement, light from the street lamp casting an ethereal glow on the surroundings. I see the moon hanging low, shining pearlescently as the stars wink in the backdrop. I see the trees lean in to whisper to each other in the soft breeze... And sometimes I don't see any of it.

Happy Independence Day!

May ALLAH bless our country! grumbling and arguing over the tyrannical rule of the 'yellow saw' (yes thats what i call zardaari as in zard aari :p ) apparently isnt doing anyone any good. Lets all just join our hands in prayer to Allah Almighty to protect our precious country from evil and calamities, forgive our sins, give us righteous rulers and show us all the straight path. AMEEN.

wooooo :D

Just discovered the world of online blogging give-aways. As heavenly as the beach.
Here's a link: http://totalbookaholic.blogspot.com/2010/08/echoes-by-melinda-metz-giveaway.html

Result

Thankyou Allah for giving me such a nice result! I fully owe you for my 8 As! I dont even mind the B in addmath so much. I hope I can get a 100% scholarship now, for which I'm applying later today...

Sometimes you have to be happy even if you cant truthfully feel it inside.

Blank Palate

Funny how time seems to rush by so fast... We used to think "time and tide wait for none" was a little too exaggerated.. now.. not so much. Come to think of it, that isn't the only thing time and tide have in common. They both have the ability to just brush away stuff, take away so much from us, give us new things, leave a whole new picture every time... whether you like it or not.

Ahmed Waqar Aziz

I wonder if I haven't accepted it yet or maybe, just maybe, I've become a better person and am now unselfish enough to just be happy for him. He was always laughing. He even went that way... laughing. When you heard his name, instantly his mischievous smile, his unique laughter, his warm and gentle personality and his x-raying eyes, from which you were unable to hide any emotion, came in mind. I always thought of him as a clown - painting a smile on his face to make others smile and be happy even if beneath that paint he was sad himself. He was so very sensitive. Sensitive for everyone. Sometimes you would be forced to think that he had some sort of sensors to know where his help was needed. Whenever you felt like crying, there he was staring into your eyes, declaring the presence of thousands of factories of tears and laughing his hilarious laughter which had the ability to lighten the darkest mood. He was the person who could put a genuine smile on the face of the saddest person on earth. He was incredible... And the best thing - he wasn't afraid. Of anything - except ALLAH SUBHANATALLAH...

 He was the sort of person who could make changes, do magic with what was going on... and even with everything that he had going on, he was always modest. You wouldn't hear of his achievements until someone else brought it up. And he did so much. At 18 he was doing his best to support his parents, juggling all sorts of responsibilities along with being there for Every single person who needed him. He was his parent's best friend, taking care of them at a whole new level. Anyone who talked about him couldn't help feeling proud to be related to him. and the kids.. The kids all loved him, and he loved all of them even more. Just seeing him would put a huge grin on the face of the grumpiest toddler. They swarmed around him like bees with honey. and he never rebuked any of them. Never was his temper short. He would talk to them all day, his deep voice lulling them in a sense of safeness. Even in his own childhood, he had all of these traits, the forgiveness, the empathy, the caring personality... If he saw anything unfair happening, he would step in and stand for the oppressed.

I remember when we first moved to Karachi, I was 8 and the only girl in our age group. My acceptance in the group was only due to him. He was the life and soul of the family, of our little group, of anything he was part of. We were the Fantastic Four and of course he was "the Thing". Underneath all that hard rocky exterior was that sensitive little soul, so pure and innocent. Never will we be able to forget his laughter, so unique, so hilarious, you couldn't help laughing along just at the sound of it. He listened. And he cared. He remembered. And he would always, always observe. This blog started at his insistence, he had seen, in fact read my essays before. There would always be a twinkle in his eye, and he seemed to be fueled with energy all the time. Ever ready to have fun, be it sitting on the tank on the roof in pouring rain and shouting random stuff or jumping up and down the neighbor's walls to get balls without them noticing. There are countless memories... Driving mini-bikes, rooftop football, cleaning the water tank, crank-calling KESC, dumb charades, drawing room cricket, table tennis tournaments, late night movies, cape mount, the list is never ending... 

Never has any one seen him sit still. Even in his sleep, he would not lie straight. Even when he didn't have a ball, his hand would keep mimicking the motions of bowling. He was Athlete of the year and the list of his sport activities was never ending. He was the kind of person who, if he put his mind to it, could do anything... and still be modest. He had a genuine attachment with every person, it was amazing how much space he had in his heart for the love he gave to so many people. Seeing how all of us love him so much, we can only imagine how much ALLAH SUBHANATALLAH loved him. "Inna lillahi wa inna ilaehi raajioon". To Him we belong and to Him we will return." We can only think of it this way: When we have something that is very precious, we only share it with our loved ones. ALLAH SUBHANATALLAH shared him with us for 18 years and we are incredibly lucky for that. Of course all of us mourn, "we could have saved him if we were there," and our own mourning, "Kitna bulaya tha Karachi"... I can only say everything is directed by ALLAH SUBHANATALLAH. It is recorded that once at a companion's death, the Holy Prophet (Peace be upon Him) said: "If only he had passed away in some other country" The companions inquired why so the Holy Prophet (Peace be upon Him) replied: "From where a person is born, to where a person dies, the distance between these two places is the place allocated to that Momin in Heaven."

Karachi to Sharjah, a distance of around 1173 km. MASHALLAH. It's up to us now to fill up that space with beautiful gardens. "SubhanAllahi wa bihamdehi. SubhanAllahe azeem." We can give him so much now, more than we could ever give in this world. And INSHALLAH he is extremely happy, happier than he could ever be in this world. We can only imagine him sitting up there with nanna, laughing uproariously down at us "bechariiis" and "becharays". He always regretted the fact that he wasn't in Karachi when nanna passed away. Little did we know that he would have the honor of being the first one to meet her again. The Holy Prophet (Peace be upon Him) said: "If your loved one is taken away and you do 'sabar', there is nothing less than Heaven for you." Now our path is clear cut. We can include him in the littlest good deeds we do so that the 'ajr' we get goes to him too. So lets get to work, you know he's encouraging you from up there. "Inna lillahi wa inna ilaehi raajioon". To Him we belong and to Him we will return. Never can I write anything good enough to do justice to him. Hope you like this, becharay.

one of those days. when u cant do without the solitude on the roof. i try hard to be normal. I do really.

Beautiful day :)

It's the way a ray of light skips through a falling droplet of water throwing a kaleidoscope of hues your way. It's the way the soft breeze plays with your hair, caressing your cheek as it flows past. It's the way the cool raindrops patter down the bridge of your nose and wet your cheeks oh-ever-so-lightly. It's the way the trees sway to the beat of the drops hitting the ground. It's the way the clouds move serenely past, blushing pink and orange as they approach the sun. It's the freshening smell of moist earth that awakens your senses.
I nod my head to the beat of John Mayer's aptly named song, 3x5 and i cant help but wish for it to come back. I want nothing more right now, then to experience last week's weather all over again. But I guess I should be happy enough that I experienced it. One of my friends who was in Saudi Arabia and just came this week couldnt enjoy it... But she did catch a bit of a drizzle in the morning.. and i can think of more unfortunate people. (hint.hint.)
I remember at then end of grade 10 i wrote a song for my friends. It went something like this:

"The rain's fallin' again,
refreshing the world,
re-livening our senses
and now you're thinking back,
reliving those memories......
Those days, we played
and that tine we shared,
its all coming back to you,
now.
All of it's gone,
a darkness is spreading
no you cant find it now
oh you're hopelessly searching
you know you miss it too
how the world was so peaceful
but its too late
to bring it back
the cheerful laughter
the birds chirping
its all gone
all gone
The rain's fallin' again
reminding you of it
and now you want it back
but now i cant get it.."

I guess it was about how we dont really prize the good times until after they're gone. And then when something happens to make you feel all nostalgic, you can remember the good times and they do still put a smile on your face but then you feel like you have a hole in your chest. That is the longing. the longing for it to come back, to relive your joyful memories. Only that doesnt happen. no, it not that easy. And thats when you feel like this sort of metaphorical darkness - say, a gloom, overcomes you. And that's when you gotta understand that it wont ever happen. Only that times will come that will be as happy and nice as your previous memories. You cant long for the past. You're allowed to be hopeful for the future.

Soy un perdedor, Im a loser Baby, so why dont u kill me?

The above are the epic lyrics of Beck's shit-hot, super-awesome song, "Loser" which was released in 1994 (the epic year i was born in) (hello, that's the reason for it's epic-ness) and gave Beck the popularity he deserved. In the middle of the song he also asks in German, "schprechen sie deutches, baby" which just means, do you know German? (:D). He later admitted that he wrote the song about how he sucked at rapping (hey, this is so relatable!) (You cant write if you cant relate), after which he released the album "Stereopathetic Soulmanure" "STEREOPATHETIC SOUL MANURE". Could there BE any album title awesome-er than this one? No. Furthermore there is a song in the album titled "Dead wild cat" which I think might just be the inspiration for "smelly cat" by Pheobe Buffay (from Friends of course) and then the song "Loser" was covered by the Glee cast. So I have to ask, (Chandler style) Could this BE any awesome-er? :D 

Possessions

Possessions are the belongings of a person that may or may not be of great sentimental value. These possessions  define the owner's personality and his/her sense of individuality. A person who sees the world in its beauty, admiring the unique shapes and hues around him and capturing them in his mind may possess a lot of photos, paintings or even journals. It all goes to differentiate one person to another.

My possessions similarly define my inner persona and signify the stages in my life that have made me who I am today. Being very protective of my belongings, I value all of them exceedingly but my three most treasured possessions are a pen, an iPod and a shawl. 

To any outsider, these things may seem insignificant or even useless. For me these things are linked to three superior aspects in my life. The pen was gifted to me by my grandfather and it was very special. An original Shakespeare antique, it made every word I wrote feel special and would inspire me to no end. I have never been a good orator and writing has been the ideal outlet for my emotions, ideas, thoughts, inspirations and the passion I felt for things. Holding a pen similar to that used by perhaps the greatest writer of all times and times to come, brought compassion to my compositions and a spark of originality. My grandfather who shared my love for reading and writing had given me something that would forever remain special to me. 

Next, my iPod, a common belonging of a teenager. For me, music is not only a muse but a sort of refuge, that forms a solid wall around me, blocking everything out and making me relax enough to rearrange my thoughts and solve my problems. Most of the time I'd like nothing more than to plug in my iPod and curl up with a good book. 

The shawl is perhaps my most prized of the three for it belonged to my late grandmother whom I loved the most. Her gentle character moved me and she had a motherly aura around her that filled me with warmth. Her death came as a shock to me and I struggled to keep myself going, like she would have wanted me to. Her white shawl, which she gave to me before her death emanates the same aura and brings back a flood of memories whenever I see it, instilling in me a desire to follow her example.
Therefore, the pen symbolizes my passion for writing, the iPod, my interest in music and the shawl, love for  

my family. These possessions are a part of me without which I would sure feel incomplete. 

What leadership means to me

"What is a warrior of light?"

"You already know that," she replied with a smile. “He is someone capable of understanding the miracle of life, of fighting to the last for something he believes in and of hearing the bells that the waves set ringing on the seabed”

He had never thought of himself as a warrior of light. The woman seemed to have read his mind.

“Everyone is capable of these things. And, though no one thinks of themselves as the warrior of light, we all are” - PAULO COELHO

 People say leadership is the ability to guide people, to show them the way, or to control them.  They say it’s an inborn talent, and so they classify those few people, leaving the others doomed to be nothing more than followers. Why can’t a quiet person be a leader?  A responsible leader is one who observes and learns, “Shallow waters run deep”. If a person is jovial, it shows an easy going attitude.  After all, if the strings of an instrument are always taut, they go out of tune.

So what are the qualities that crown a leader? I say, there are no such qualities.  The simple key towards this greatness is responsibility. “Responsibility walks hand in hand with capacity and power”. Indeed the latin roots of the word reveal its meanings, the capacity to respond and react. So for me, leadership means taking responsibility, the first step being personal responsibility. For until you have learned to control your own self and channelize your energy in to positive directions no one will want to follow you.  

Leadership requires attitude change.  A simple “I can” does not suffice, it must be, “I will!”  You must create the drive to turn aspiration into actuality and flip perceptions to believe in what must be done. In this journey, you realize who you are and treasure trust as your greatest gift.

I never thought of myself as a leader, for I lacked orator skills. I was bubbling with ideas but alas! I could only write. No one remembers the person who writes the speech. It is the person who makes it his own, who’s remembered. It was up to the leader to choose the idea. I was merely a supplier. And every time, my confidence would ebb to a new low.

I am eternally grateful to the teacher who introduced me to the School of Leadership and led me to participate in the First Junior Leader’s Conference. At first, I thought it was a terrible mistake. I couldn’t express my feelings clearly to my friends, how would I guide strangers to a good cause? But once I got there, I broke through the barrier and gained enough confidence to hold my own. Once I’d gained faith, it was easy enough to gain trust.

 In the conference, they made teams, gave us separate squares to stand in and announced the beginning of a battle. Our weapons were hundreds of balls and our objective was to ensure that not a single ball was in our square by the ending time. Sure enough, as the battle began, everyone started pelting each other with balls. But no matter how hard or how far we threw them, they would always return. All of us had no chance to win and at the end of the battle everyone had lost. That was when our coordinator came and expressed his views. The only way to defeat our enemies was to take the weapons away from them and use them at the last moment. So he went back to the corner and started collecting the balls. He pitched a team of coordinators against all of us and began the battle again. At first we took advantage but soon all the weapons were in their hands. As the countdown hit 5 they let loose our artillery and by 1 all our squares were full. The battle had ended and they had won. And that was when i realized what the real thing was. Sure, there's always quick thinking and practicality involved. But the main thing, is to take responsibility, others will automatically trust you. And once you've earned that, your motive is to never let them down.

Fire - Friend or Enemy?

Fire, the horrendous fiend. When you think of fire, you feel white hot pain and you see the flames of Hell. Is this the backstabbing demon you would like as a friend? Fire is the weapon of the arsonists and the destroyer of homes, families and lives. Millions of burn victims all over the world have to undergo a life full of discrimination and agony after a match with this indestructible force. Fire has no empathy. It burns down acres of vegetation in forest fires, destroying in seconds what took million of years to form. Laying waste to the homes of many animals and the source of food for all.

Fire is always associated with Hell. In many religions, demons are represented by fire. Fear of harm from these demons led fire worshippers to sacrifice many innocent lives. Likewise the spark of a flame attracts the arsonist, using the adrenaline junkie inside him for its own evil purpose. Fire shows no mercy. Using the structure of a building as its ambush, innocent people as live bait, it lures the firemen in its trap to risk their lives in its devilish inferno. Fire should never be underestimated, rather treated with discipline and carbon dioxide.

Charred flesh and burnt wood are the smells on the scene of a building set on fire. It breathes and consumes and intelligently works to prevent its death. How the tiny spark of a matchstick grows into a consuming hell hole? How an innocent campfire can turn in to a raging forest fire, its twisted sense of irony turning a camper’s search for warmth to hopeless tries of escaping its wrath. As a symbol of Hell, destruction and evil, I chose fire as an enemy.

Hello World

Hello World! This is a fifteen- (hey! almost sixteen!)- year old girl starting her first blog! Now i don’t always like doing things the way they’re supposed to be done. So no introduction for you since everything about me is very evident when i write. Yes it is a passion of mine. Ever since I was able to pick up a pencil, I would scribble away, lost in the glory of the worlds I created everyday. When I had perfected my use of verbs, it was a breeze. Or rather an ocean of stories and poems toppling over each other like turbulent waves. No doll would keep me content, nor any other toy. All you had to do was put a book in my hand and watch me submerge. I still love reading books. It’s the way you can forget about everything thats wrong in your life and just sink in to the story. It’s the way it takes you through countless experiences, without actually getting battered by the roughness and leave you with experience, food for thought and the lust to read more. I’ve got my heart broken by the Diary of Anne Frank, experienced magic with Harry Potter
, flew the skies on backs of dragons with Eragon, gone on adventures with Lyra Silvertongue with the Golden Compass, Broken codes with the Digital Fortress and the Lost Symbol and so on. The list is never ending. And i’ve always wanted to write something that others can add to their respective lists. That’s one of my ambitions and I hope to see it come true. And I realize that this is actually the first step. Sure, you might get a “good” or an “excellent” from your teacher on your essays. But to put your work out there, to spread your word out and see how people react, the diverse crowd that they prove to be, that is the thing you’re going for. And I hope that you like this.