Life with a Medical Student Room mate.

Sheesh. I blame my absence on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.I know its pretty old now. But I have a gap of a week between my exams so I started watching. Currently Im going at a rate of three episodes per day- sorry Night. I study too ok. Also I am obsessed with Cyanide and Happiness. Go on click it, you wont regret it.

My cousin is off partying, she had her last exam today. From Monday she has to go again. You guessed right, she's in MED SCHOOL *dhan dhan dhaaan* Also she's my room mate. Which means, I LIVE WITH A FREAK OF NATURE. (Needless to say I'll become one too in an year, props to Mom for the wishes)

Where do I start? Hmm.. How about I have an actual skull in my room. Of an actual person. A real person. A dead real person. (pun Intended). That's right, in two pieces. And it's been there since forever now.Before it used to be a sort of decoration piece. Here's a picture of it with my 16th birthday cake.

i know right. DELICIOUS CAKE.

Now though, its been denoted. Its more of a lost n found box now. I swear that's where I found my keys last week.

So that's where my necklace went.

 This is nothing really. She used to sleep with the humerus bone by her side. (snicker) Talking about humor, she has none. No actually she has a very *medical* sense of humor. Its annoying. No seriously. If i didnt delete all of the forwarded messages of Medical jokes as soon as i got them, I would write one here. But no, You are safe. Also, you are welcome.

And that isnt the only mental torture I have to go through. True to her doctor self, my cousin has unreadable handwriting. So I ended up making her Forensic and Jurisprudence journal in her third year. And let me tell you, it was NOT pretty. Scary Bloody pictures of people with huge stabs and wounds and acid thrown all over them with their whole faces poofed up and grisly. A new vitriolage victim to star in my dream each night. The other day I was doing her jurisprudence work and so now I know how to identify bodies that have been blasted into smithereens and do not have even a finger left.

The only plus point I found in doing her work was Toxicology. I know now that Croton Oil is the best homicidal poison. Its odourless, tasteless and a small amount would do the job in like 3 hours. (Don't test me i did this work in Feb). So you really dont wanna aggravate me, I can easily slip some in your apple juice.
On the other hand, the love of my life has been exposed to be lethal. That's right copper sulphate can kill you. I took this picture, along with countless others in my Chem Lab. All those times.. *sob*

How could u!?

 It doesn't help that whenever I zone out and come back or enter the room, she's always uttering words like 'bloody diarrhea' or the cranial nerve mnemonic. (Okay no, she doesn't chant that but she told me about it, WHOEVER MADE THAT WAS A HUGE PERV)

Being a room mate entails some responsibility to clean up and not finish all the water in the bottle. Being a medical student's room mate, specially one who's a neat freak and goes all Brain eating zombie if i finish the water, Boy do i have a huge list of responsibilities. Top of the list: Be her subject.

She has scratched me, to show me what exactly an abrasion is. She has poked my arms and legs in revising her knowledge of the bones and muscles. She has taken hold of my ear and pulled it around, even put a finger inside. She has pulled my nose up and examined it to her heart's desire. She has made me put my tongue out with my mouth open wide and pinched me so that i screamed 'AAAA'. She has prodded my neck, which was quite ticklish, asked if it hurt and at the end exclaimed 'Haan, shayad yehi kerna hota hai'. (Third year, ENT ward) She has also checked my bowel sounds with her stethoscope.

Pink i know. It even has her name on it. SHOWOFF.

 Which brings us to number two on the list. (on the list.): Bearing with her freakiness. If she's not buried in some huge book written by Shruti, PL and Deeksha Dhingra (Im not kidding I swear those are real authors) then she's probably curled up with her steth like a little obsessive weirdo listening to her own bowel sounds. Once she had diarrhea and was fascinated by the sounds coming out of her stomach. She was quite sad when I didn't hear them. Naturally, she also listens to her heart beat, which makes her delusional coz now she experiences palpitations all the time. Also we have books everywhere.

yes there is a book on top of them too.

Books in the closet, how normal

Leading to the third: Dealing with the 'Medical Student Syndrome'. In this syndrome, each and every disease the patient comes across, he believes that he has them. I quote my cousin. Last week she suspected that she had aduction hyperflex. On Sunday it was insomnia. Monday she had narcolepsy. Tuesday she felt palipitations. Wednesday she felt .tachycardia. Last night it was left sided myalgea. So my job is to convince her that she has none of this. Im proud to say that I have really good powers of convincing. Oh yeah.

 Fourth is not minding disturbance of sleep. Usually she wakes up at three in the night and studies. So at these occasions I have several times been awaken to a creepy sensation of being stared at. When I questioned her sanity she told me I have a hot clavicle. On other occasions she needs to perform some sort of examination on me. Once it was a pupil dilation test. Another time it was a respiratory check up so I had to repeatedly say 'TEEN, TEEN, TEEN' as she moved the stethoscope over my back. I swear Im really glad no one comes to check up on us in our room. Else they'd be really disturbed. I've also been told the correct method of gastric lavage in my sleep. and now I really wanna study like this coz i remember it word to word. So if anyone gets poisoned. Come to me. Seriously.

The Fifth one is having her kill all my jokes. For a Med Student she is extremely brilliant (Masha'Allah) with the crazy nerd-freak drive to get a position each year. But when it comes to jokes. She's a frigging blondie. You wanna curl up and die in the time that goes by after the punchline and before her laugh. Also she sometimes tries to be scientific about stuff. For example:

SO FLLUUFFAAAY

She saw this. Loved it. And uses this lines with variations everyday like 'it's so funny/yummy' etcetera etcetera. But once, when she was in this really bad mood. She said, "I don't think you die if u find something fluffy" How could u atta, How could you?

The advantage of living with a med student? I can swear at people without them knowing. Seriously. I can go up to a person and tell them they had a HUGE gluteus maximus but they wouldnt know what im talking about. Oh and lets not even go there. That whole region. yeah if u piss me off, I'll describe you using all the names of the stuff found in that region. In scientific terms. Hah.

Also you can show off the fact that you know what the anatomical snuffbox is and that the bizelic vein goes through it or something. Pretty neat, no? Lemme be an optimist while it lasts.