Ahmed Waqar Aziz

I wonder if I haven't accepted it yet or maybe, just maybe, I've become a better person and am now unselfish enough to just be happy for him. He was always laughing. He even went that way... laughing. When you heard his name, instantly his mischievous smile, his unique laughter, his warm and gentle personality and his x-raying eyes, from which you were unable to hide any emotion, came in mind. I always thought of him as a clown - painting a smile on his face to make others smile and be happy even if beneath that paint he was sad himself. He was so very sensitive. Sensitive for everyone. Sometimes you would be forced to think that he had some sort of sensors to know where his help was needed. Whenever you felt like crying, there he was staring into your eyes, declaring the presence of thousands of factories of tears and laughing his hilarious laughter which had the ability to lighten the darkest mood. He was the person who could put a genuine smile on the face of the saddest person on earth. He was incredible... And the best thing - he wasn't afraid. Of anything - except ALLAH SUBHANATALLAH...

 He was the sort of person who could make changes, do magic with what was going on... and even with everything that he had going on, he was always modest. You wouldn't hear of his achievements until someone else brought it up. And he did so much. At 18 he was doing his best to support his parents, juggling all sorts of responsibilities along with being there for Every single person who needed him. He was his parent's best friend, taking care of them at a whole new level. Anyone who talked about him couldn't help feeling proud to be related to him. and the kids.. The kids all loved him, and he loved all of them even more. Just seeing him would put a huge grin on the face of the grumpiest toddler. They swarmed around him like bees with honey. and he never rebuked any of them. Never was his temper short. He would talk to them all day, his deep voice lulling them in a sense of safeness. Even in his own childhood, he had all of these traits, the forgiveness, the empathy, the caring personality... If he saw anything unfair happening, he would step in and stand for the oppressed.

I remember when we first moved to Karachi, I was 8 and the only girl in our age group. My acceptance in the group was only due to him. He was the life and soul of the family, of our little group, of anything he was part of. We were the Fantastic Four and of course he was "the Thing". Underneath all that hard rocky exterior was that sensitive little soul, so pure and innocent. Never will we be able to forget his laughter, so unique, so hilarious, you couldn't help laughing along just at the sound of it. He listened. And he cared. He remembered. And he would always, always observe. This blog started at his insistence, he had seen, in fact read my essays before. There would always be a twinkle in his eye, and he seemed to be fueled with energy all the time. Ever ready to have fun, be it sitting on the tank on the roof in pouring rain and shouting random stuff or jumping up and down the neighbor's walls to get balls without them noticing. There are countless memories... Driving mini-bikes, rooftop football, cleaning the water tank, crank-calling KESC, dumb charades, drawing room cricket, table tennis tournaments, late night movies, cape mount, the list is never ending... 

Never has any one seen him sit still. Even in his sleep, he would not lie straight. Even when he didn't have a ball, his hand would keep mimicking the motions of bowling. He was Athlete of the year and the list of his sport activities was never ending. He was the kind of person who, if he put his mind to it, could do anything... and still be modest. He had a genuine attachment with every person, it was amazing how much space he had in his heart for the love he gave to so many people. Seeing how all of us love him so much, we can only imagine how much ALLAH SUBHANATALLAH loved him. "Inna lillahi wa inna ilaehi raajioon". To Him we belong and to Him we will return." We can only think of it this way: When we have something that is very precious, we only share it with our loved ones. ALLAH SUBHANATALLAH shared him with us for 18 years and we are incredibly lucky for that. Of course all of us mourn, "we could have saved him if we were there," and our own mourning, "Kitna bulaya tha Karachi"... I can only say everything is directed by ALLAH SUBHANATALLAH. It is recorded that once at a companion's death, the Holy Prophet (Peace be upon Him) said: "If only he had passed away in some other country" The companions inquired why so the Holy Prophet (Peace be upon Him) replied: "From where a person is born, to where a person dies, the distance between these two places is the place allocated to that Momin in Heaven."

Karachi to Sharjah, a distance of around 1173 km. MASHALLAH. It's up to us now to fill up that space with beautiful gardens. "SubhanAllahi wa bihamdehi. SubhanAllahe azeem." We can give him so much now, more than we could ever give in this world. And INSHALLAH he is extremely happy, happier than he could ever be in this world. We can only imagine him sitting up there with nanna, laughing uproariously down at us "bechariiis" and "becharays". He always regretted the fact that he wasn't in Karachi when nanna passed away. Little did we know that he would have the honor of being the first one to meet her again. The Holy Prophet (Peace be upon Him) said: "If your loved one is taken away and you do 'sabar', there is nothing less than Heaven for you." Now our path is clear cut. We can include him in the littlest good deeds we do so that the 'ajr' we get goes to him too. So lets get to work, you know he's encouraging you from up there. "Inna lillahi wa inna ilaehi raajioon". To Him we belong and to Him we will return. Never can I write anything good enough to do justice to him. Hope you like this, becharay.